I Don’t Want to Come to Your Party! Here’s Why?

I just want to let you know that I’m boycotting your party, so save your energy and don’t invite me!  Yes, you, my dear beloved friend, cousin, Aunty, and acquaintance with whom I get along with so well.  I adore you, but I don’t want to attend your party, even though it might be an insanely good time.  It’s a risk I am willing to take, of possibly missing out on your festivities, for the sake of the greater good; because you, my dear one are broke!  Or, you just have ridiculously poor social etiquette; either way, I just don’t want to come!

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Me thinking about the money I’ll save from my boycott!

Now, It’s a shame that things have had to come to this, but we are living in somewhat precarious times.  Overt celebrationism has run amuck!  We’ve sadly become a party obsessed society, adding to the traditionally observed occasions, such as weddings and anniversaries, a new trend of making merriment over the silliest of things.  Little Johnny got accepted into an Ivy League Preschool—Yaaaay, let’s have a party.  Grandma Bernie has recovered from bunion surgery, time to rally the family to celebrate.  Baby Shawn just turned one, he needs a party too, even though he’ll cry and be cranky the entire time, and Cousin Trina is getting married—but she wants a grand wedding in less than a year!  Great!  All of those events could still be wonderful and fun, if people acted normal and planned said events in appropriate ways.  Then, the normal people they invite, like myself, would come to these events and bring gifts, like invited people are supposed to do.  Even better, when we’d arrive at said events, the normal people who invited us would be welcoming, and there’d be pleasantries, and food, and entertainment, all provided by the host.  This seems simple enough, right?

Well, unfortunately, it must not be, because far too often, this is not what happens.  Instead, you get an invitation; the invitation goes something like this: “We’d love the honor of your presence at Sally’s retirement party.  Would you do us the honor and attend?”  At first, this invitation seems innocent and exciting; you love Sally, so of course you’ll come.  It’s what happens next that’s the problem.  You get another message, telling you to bring spare cash for the pin a dollar on Sally game,  a wrapped item for the white elephant table, and money to pay for your own dinner and drinks, because the hosts are only providing cake.  What the hell!  All that is in addition to the gift that they will parade in front of everyone and you will be shamed for if you happen not to bring!

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“Hey, Kish, did you get Sally’s message about her party?”

 

By the time the whole thing is over, Sally might be happy (if she had the turn out she wanted and if she actually liked her gifts), but you leave feeling like you’ve been financially violated, in some way that you can’t quite explain.  And that’s not even the worst.  I’ve taken my children to birthday parties where I graciously gave up my precious weekend do nothing hours, to not even be offered a single thing to drink, much less, some food.  Or, I’ve had to shell out my own money to pay for my kids to eat or play games at these parties, because the host didn’t properly plan for the extra children (there are always extra children) who showed up.  I’ve been to weddings where there were so many people and so little food, that the guests were served dinner on dessert plates, and I’ve traveled hundreds of miles to attend special celebrations, without being given so much as a dry slice of bread.

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Me enjoying all the food I paid for at your shindig!

Again, why do these party debaucles happen?  Are people really that clueless as to what hosting a party entails?  Do they legitimately not understand that inviting people to a wedding reception, birthday party/dinner, a graduation party/dinner, a bridal shower, a baby shower, and now, the ridiculous new gender reveal party, means that they are supposed to pay for the ENTIRE event, including food, decorations, party favors, the venue, music, entertainment, etc?  Personally, I think most people do know how to throw a proper celebration, but, the real problem is something else.

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Party’s over!  I’m done.

What is it you ask?  Well, It’s obvious really– these people are undeniably broke!  And no, I don’t mean the destitute, the homeless, or the having to beg random people for change, kind of broke.  These folks are broke in more of a, I want to have a party, but I don’t have the funds to do that without being tacky, sort of way.   And, as such, they like to cleverly disguise their lack of funds (and consideration) by deferring their costs onto you.  Like when Jim-Bob invites everyone over for a backyard barbecue, only to request that all of his guest bring their own meat.  Really Jim-bob?  Are you just that pitiful that you need me and everyone else to supply the sustenance for  your barbecue that was your idea?  Whatever the answer is, I no longer care, because I’m not doing it anymore, for anybody!  Why?  Because it’s your damn barbecue Jim-Bob!  It’s your damn birthday Sheila!  It’s your damn whatever-the-hell-type-of celebration you want to call it, whatever your name is, and that means it’s your responsibility to pay.  If you can’t do that, I understand completely; It’s your prerogative to host parties as you please.  In the meantime, however, don’t invite me.  I am boycotting until you can do better and until you do, I don’t want to come!

How do you feel about helping foot the bill for other people’s parties?  Do you mind?  Is it just about being a good sport?  Do you have party horror stories of your own to share?  We want to hear them, tell us down below.

 

 

37 Replies to “I Don’t Want to Come to Your Party! Here’s Why?”

  1. I’m totally with you on parties. it’s not that i don’t like the people, i am anti-gift. i don’t feel i should have to buy other people gifts or contribute if i’m going to their party!

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  2. Unless it’s a potluck there shouldn’t be any reason you should have to bring your own food. Or pay for the food that’s there. That’s just insane to me. I’ve hosted several birthday parties for my kids and never asked anyone to pay for anything. I’ve never attended any birthday parties either that expected you to pay but if that came up it would be a quick decline of the invite. I bring a gift and a card. That is all that should be expected of me. Again, unless it’s a potluck but this was a funny post! I was laughing through most of this 🙂

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  3. I can’t agree more on your thoughts. Parties indeed have become too flashy these days. I would love to go back to the celebrations of those good ol’ days

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  4. I don’t go to so many parties but never make guests pay for their own expenses. It’s kind of rude. Thanks for sharing.

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  5. Hahaha! I couldn’t agree more. And can’t help laughing reading your post. I have limited my involvement in parties since the time I got a little serious about my blog!

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  6. OMG! I am on the floor choking on laughter. If you are not having a potluck, do not ask me to bring anything except the event requires a gift for the celebrant.

    When I saw the title of your post, I was like “that’s not nice”…after reading your dilemma, girl I can see why. Who are these folks? Where I am from, we party a lot, we throw parties for ridiculous things, and most times it’s a way for people to show off their status in life. You are often asked to come with your appetite because as they say “rice, stew, will be very plenty-more like eat until you drop.” I hope I never meet said folks because I am a straight shooter, I’ll let them have it.

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  7. Asking for money is something that I would not do. If I am the host, I’ll make sure to take care of everything.

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  8. I am not a party person. I enjoyed most staying at home but I would love to host one day 🙂

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  9. Hhahaha this is great! I love to go to the party even of horrible people. It make me networking a lot and get out of the routine.

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  10. Parties can get really expensive really fast! I can’t blame you there!

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  11. I don’t go to many parties, but i like to host dinner parties. I never expect people to pitch in though, I think it is kind of rude.

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  12. I have dinner parties quite often, but never make the guests pay for their own meals, or bring money, lol! Also, I never attended such a party and probably never will. A party is a reason to celebrate, not to make money on the guest’s expenses.

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    1. Oh I haven’t attend parties like that before. When I have to share funds to attend a party,I can see where they put the money on and mostly, it’s all worth it.

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  13. I have actually been invited to parties where you have to pay to attend and it isn’t even going to a charity or good cause, unfortunately. It seems today people only gather when there is a reason- when presents are required. I remember growing up when people would just stop over and come by because they wanted to. It was about being a family and being together. I know exactly how you feel…I feel the same way.

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  14. LOLOL what a funny post! I’m trying to think if I have any party horror stories. Not really. Once I got too drunk and tried to walk home barefoot in the snow. Does that count?

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  15. LMAO! This was seriously entertaining and enjoyable to read. Kids’ birthday parties can be a bit chaotic!

    I have been to too many parties where I felt financially violated or kinda overlooked. It’s why I try to stick to more intimate gatherings!

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  16. I know this is serious, but it still put a smile on my face! I can’t believe how bad the party culture has evolved over time, what happened to the simple, come over and have some food and chit chat without spending all those extra cash.

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  17. LOL, who are these people? I am so glad you posted this, as invitations of this nature with these kinds of “bring your own meat” requests have always slightly irked me, but I couldn’t quite pin point why. As I read your post, I was like ….
    ” AH!!!! This is why!”. So fun!

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  18. I definitely don’t think it’s good practice to have a party and expect people to pay or contribute unless they are co-organizing so I agree with some of your points.

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  19. I definitely don’t like to pay for other people’s parties! If you’re going to plan one, make sure you have the funds. I think I’d decline to attend if I knew!

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  20. I do agree with you on most of this. It is definitely not tacky to expect guests to bring things. However in the case of an office retirement party, I see nothing wrong with everyone pitching in the same amount (say $10-20) and then one person getting all the supplies needed. I figure in an office, it shouldn’t fall on one person. Similarly, that’s how bachelorette parties work. The maid of honor I don’t think should take the entire burden. However the MOh also needs to consider everyone’s budgets when planning it. I know when I was MOH for my. Way friend, we picked the location according to where everyone lived and I found an affordable Airbnb. I even made one more expensive activity optional.

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  21. This is such a very true and honest feeling about this party. I am against in this kind of party where the guest needs to provide for everything. I think if a person is going to throw a party he/she will be the one to provide everything not their guest.

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  22. When we throw a party, we try to do as much as we can for our guests so they can have a nice time. I figure, we are hosting and they are coming to let loose; why should they have to bring a bunch of stuff or pay for a lot? We take care of everything.

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  23. I love your sassy personality! I agree with you so much on this too; why do we feel the need to celebrate everything mediocre? Doesn’t make sense!

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  24. We’ve held, and been invited to parties where the cost is split between several people. It also depends on who’s throwing it. If it’s family, it’s understood we pitch in, or contribute another way, such as a dish to pass. I don’t mind helping out a little bit, but, if the price for admission is too great, it’s an easy “pass” for me.

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  25. I agree. I don’t understand these parties where the guests have to provide everything. Now days, everything seems to be pot luck or bring your own drinks. This always happens at work as well. They say it’s a staff appreciation party, but we have to bring food or drinks. Maybe I’m not a good sport, but I think that if you are invited, the host should do the preparation and provide for the party.

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  26. This is so accurate and I also think parties are so over played that the ones that matter are forgotten and people doing really care about.

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  27. I am amazed and trust me this doesn’t really happen here in my country. Here the celebrations are like extravaganza and the host pays for everything. Guests are not at all asked for anything but guest go with some gifts as per their own wish. And many of the hosts have a special mention that “No gifts or cash would be accepted. Your blessings are the biggest gift for us”

    I really feel pity for asking the guests for money or say serving less food. We have just lot of food more than one’s requirement and sometimes becomes just waste of food.

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  28. YES! I completely agree, you want to have a party, then please do not ask for money, donations or anything else. Party etiquette nowadays is quite embarrassing.

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  29. I don’t have any party horror stories except for drinking way too much. I’m 39 years old. The last time I took a drink, I was 19.

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