So, men are visual creatures, huh? At least that’s the story women have been sold for eons and by the current state of the modern day female, it would appear as if we have truly bought into that narrative. And why shouldn’t we. You can’t open up your phone or computer, turn on your television, or check-out peacefully at the grocery store, without being bombarded with images of what men expect to see from women. Thin, but curvy, natural, but with all the right accentuations, confident, but with a girlish undertone, and sexy, but with a virginal flair—women like that are on every magazine and public platform. But, women like that are not us!
Nevertheless, we still buy into that narrative—that men care mostly about how we look. Hell, even God, who by all accounts is a man, is apparently visual too. For six whole days he was said to have made a plethora of things, some pretty important, like the sun and the earth, but it wasn’t until he laid eyes on these creations that he declared them to be good. See? Visual Man!
Still, despite all of our knowing and doing, as evidenced by our annual investments into the trillion dollar beauty industry here in America, women are still ending up alone. And for black women, the statistic are worse. According to an article from Hype Hair, Black women outspend non-Blacks nine to one on ethnic hair and beauty products alone.  If that weren’t already bad, Black women are still the largest demographic of unwed/never married women in the U.S. 
So what gives? Well, maybe we’ve been going about this attraction thing all wrong. Maybe us gals did good on the one hand, by focusing on our outward appearance, while screwing up more important things in the process. Maybe we forgot to look beyond the male’s propensity to be visual, to the parts where they also like to see women shine. So, to help, I’ve put together a list of 6 things that men are likely looking for in a woman, that have absolutely nothing to do with looks! Maybe, by focusing on these things, in addition to our exteriors, we can see more women boo’d up and wed.
- Men want women who have substance! Contrary to the bumbling idiot stereotypes that media often portrays them as being, men actually do have brains, and want women who have them as well! Can you talk about anything interesting? Are you able to share your goals? Do you even know what’s going on in the world? Real men aren’t dumb, or mindless and they won’t just be mesmerized by your ravishing good looks. Good men will have great dialogue, opinions and ideas, and will expect as much from any woman they entertain.
- Men want women who aren’t prude! Sex—yes, there it is– that big, bad, dirty word that has some women living in fear. These are the ones who won’t even broach the subject on a date, or who’ll demonize a man for even considering them in that way. The reality is, most healthy men will probably have an active sex drive and will naturally anticipate sex—with you. There is likely no bigger turn-off for a man, than a woman who imitates Mother Theresa, or who acts like sex wouldn’t be as fun for them as it would be for the man. Definitely unattractive behavior.
- Men want women who don’t constantly complain. Some women have their problems set to default; ask them how their day was, they’ll go into a diatribe of the co-workers they can’t stand. Take them to a nice restaurant, they’ll complain about the food. Ask them about the weather? Well, it’s always too hot or too cold. Women like these missed the Goldilocks memo that says some things in life are just right, and are a definite turn off to good men.
- Men want women who are emotionally stable! When a woman doesn’t know whether or not she’s coming or going, it leaves everyone around her confused . One day she wants a relationship, the next day, she doesn’t. The minute she and her partner disagree, she tells him he isn’t the one, but just a week ago, they were soulmates. Her behavior is exhausting and her moods are ever changing; No good man wants to stick around for that!
- Men want women who don’t view them as expendable! Women like these don’t need a man—rather, they’re like an accessory and expendable—and they’re quick to make that point abundantly clear. Any companion, partner, lover, significant other, and possible husband, who comes into their life, is just there to accentuate the wonderful existence they already have, and are dispensable under the right (or wrong) circumstances. But, here is the deal: Good men, just like good women, love to feel needed; not like an object that someone likes, but would be fine living with or without.
- Men want women who have self-control! Women typically are the more verbal sex, and as such, we often have a powerful way with words. Sometimes, however, we use that power to spew out some pretty horrific things; specifically, words that can crush a man to his core and shrink him several feet. What’s worse though, is that some women go even further and become aggressive with men, and both of these behaviors are not cool. Just like women don’t want to be belittled or touched aggressively by their partners, men want the same things too. Nothing is probably more of a turn off, than a woman who can’t control her actions and words.
Women, let us hear from you! What do you think about this list? Is it realistic? What would you add or take away? Men, we REALLY want to hear from you. What are you looking for in a woman other than her looks?